May 19, 2009

As much I am proud of what I achieved, sometimes I want to start over

Celebrating 10 years as a lawyer

As the title said, I am really proud of how far I have come. I have built a two persons show, which we thought wouldn't last even it's first month, got onto panels of a few banks which laughed us off in our first year and then even managed to move from one small office of 500 square feet to a medium sized one of 3600 square feet. From doing everything ourselves to 2 staffs and now there are more than 15 persons relying on us to give them salaries every months. Of course we have our ups and downs and sometimes we even have to fork out our own money to top up the shortage of money in our coffer.

What I sometimes wish to do, like all those films which I have watched like Before the Devil Knows You Are Dead or the likes of it is to do something out of the ordinary and go away forever to some far off lands where know one knows me and I can start something new all over again. Sometimes the wish is more about starting a new career off tangent from the present one I am holding. Something simple, where people wouldn't rely on what you say or do to help them in their predicaments or problems.

I have met a few people who had done just this. Most of them did not commit henious crime or anything really bad (according to them). They said they are there to nurse a broken heart or over-bearing spouse or partner or parents. They wanted to do what their heart was saying to them. They wanted to go where no one knows their name. Where people don't even speak their language. I met them all over the world. Certain parts of Malaysia accessible only by boat. In Australia (a favourire for Malaysian), in China, in Europe and even in Indonesia. Some were professionals but some had an early start by going away exactly after school. One of my mother's friends stayed in the Holy Land of Mecca for 25 years and returned home when she was 85 years old.

How I wish I had that courage sometimes. More to see whether I have the strenght to survive than anything else. I am a descendant of these people called Minangkabau from Sumatra who are supposed to love to travel and make their fortune somewhere else.

Maybe this restlessnes is in my blood....

1 comment:

Ratty said...

I understand exactly what you mean. I sometimes wish the same thing. My family came to this area of my country from another area. It's the same country, but very different places. My grandfather had a much better life here than he ever did before. My dad never felt right here, and moved back a few years ago. It would be nice to be able to move but have the safety to go back if we wanted to.

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